dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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