Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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