In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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