Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
