If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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