You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Randomize
