Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
