You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
