I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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