Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
