dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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