I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I just found a bag of teeth...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
