tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
My feet surprised me
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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