I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
