could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
