you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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