So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Randomize
