when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
