I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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