i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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