susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
