So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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