Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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