Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Randomize
