just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
did i walk over a car last night?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
