he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
