Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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