i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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