i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
