i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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