They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Randomize
