Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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