She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
