OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
