The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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