You smell like stripper and shame
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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