Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
