The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
