apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
