we have pet lesbian snakes
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
