Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
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