Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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