Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
They are going to name an STD after you.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
