I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
