I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
