i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
