i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
