So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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