are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
he puts the penis in happiness.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
