I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
