she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
